It’s probably a good thing I didn’t know the specifics of Dear Evan Hansen before I took Owen to the see it with me last week. The world premiere musical playing at Arena Stage covers some pretty heavy subject matter that, had I just read or heard about beforehand, likely would have made me decide it was too mature for my 9.5-year-old.
The press materials I’d received ahead of the performance only gave a vague description of the show, though they did say it would appeal to middle schoolers and up. But since Owen isn’t too far off from that age, has a real interest in theatre as both a budding actor and viewer, and is a huge fan of the Pitch Perfect movies in which Dear Evan Hansen star Ben Platt is a major character, I thought it would be, well, perfect to bring him to the official opening performance with me.
I’m glad I didn’t know the specifics, because it turned out my instincts were right. I couldn’t have asked for a better theatre companion for the show that is both heartening and poignant as it explores aspects of adolescence, family, parenting, and human connection.
Evan Hansen is a teenager longing to fit in and be seen when tragedy coupled with a misunderstanding give him the opportunity to have that and much more — but at the expense of the truth. And while his lie starts with good intentions, it snowballs and forces him to question whether what has been gained is worth what has been compromised.
The story itself is thought-provoking and emotional (I don’t want to spoil it, but you can find plot details here), but it’s the on-stage execution that makes it especially powerful. The performances are brilliant, and every actor makes their characters feel so relatable. Watching Evan Hansen and his peers, I recalled the angst and awkwardness of my own teen years and contemplated what my kids could possibly face in the future (which, accompanied by the stirring music, had me sobbing by the second scene).
Even more, I empathized with all of the parents and the desperation for their children’s happiness, so deep in one case they cling to an incredibly tenuous story. Because as a parent, isn’t that what is paramount in life — our children’s happiness?
Much of this is conveyed through musical numbers that are exceptionally moving and evocative. Tony Award nominees Benj Pasek and Justin Paul did a phenomenal job composing the score, and the talented musicians and cast really did it justice. (Scroll down for a teaser…Owen and I can’t get the song out of our heads.)
Do you ever go to a show — a musical, play, concert, or any kind of live performance — and feel like you’ve just witnessed something really special? That you were part of an experience bonding you with everyone there, even a roomful of hundreds of strangers? That’s Dear Evan Hansen. And at a play about the need for human connection, it’s so apropos.
The person I connected with most, though, was my sweet boy, who left the theatre after the standing ovation exclaiming, “That was so touching! There were so many lessons…” When I asked what specifically he said, “That you should always be yourself. Because if you think you are happy when you’re not being yourself, then are you really happy?”
Yep, I’m definitely glad I chose Owen as my date.
Dear Evan Hansen is playing at Arena Stage through August 23. Running time is about 2.5 hours, including a 15-minute intermission. Tickets are $55-70, and for families with kids/teens interested in a theatre outing, Arena offers pay-your-age tickets (for patrons 30 and under) and the Family Fun Pack (four seats for $125). More details about both programs are available here.
A few warnings before you go:
1) As mentioned, the subject matter is heavy (this New York Times review has plot details.) It’s probably best for middle school-aged kids and older, but as noted, Owen (9.5) did okay with it, though there is adult language and adult references that garnered several amused, wide-eyed looks from him. There were a few other kids at our performance, including one who was definitely younger (and who came up to Owen in the lobby and told him how nice it was to see another kid at the theatre — so cute). Parents are the best judges of what’s appropriate for their children.
2) There is a good chance you will cry. Bring tissues.
3) Be prepared for the lyrics, “Tap tap tapping on the glass…” to play on repeat in your head.
Is there a lot of language in Dear Evan Hansen? I’m wanting to see it, and I want to know before hand.
Hi Sam – Yes, there is language, though I don’t think it’s too much, it works within the context of the show. The story and performances are so powerful, and that’s what stands out. Hope this helps!
My main thing is the F word. I know it says it in one song, but does it do it more than that? I can see that it’s been a while since you’ve seen it, but if you can remember that would be great. Thank you.
Definitely more than once! But I really don’t think that would be the take-away from the show for a kid, especially one old enough to see it.
Sorry for bugging you, but do they say the F word more than 5 times? The people I’m taking are wary of shows that have language. I want to go see it, and I’m trying to convince them. Thank you.
You’re not bugging me. Pretty sure it’s more than five times. But as I’ve said before, it’s such a powerful show that I don’t think bad language really stands out. I hope you are able to see it – sounds like you really want to!
Fantastic information! I have been eager to see this show but wasn’t sure if I should bring my 12 year old son and 10 year old daughter. It sounds like it something they can totally handle. Now I am even more excited. Thank you!!
You’re very welcome. I hope you and your kids all enjoy the show!
Chiming in as well – I thought except for the language (which was, in my opinion, too much….2-3 F-bombs I understand but I’ll be there were at least 6 or more) and some of the more graphic sexual references, it was great. I was ok with my 13 and 14 year old girls watching, but probably not so much had they been 11 and 12. Too bad too – if they had toned down a bit, it is a GREAT message for middle school, although I understand why they were trying to be edgy. It’s a musical about 16-18 year old life, not middle school.